it's never too late to repent. <33

♥ 2007/09/24

haiz to many things have happened too fast and i also do not know what to do.i know what you going thru now is hurting or maybe painful n don wan to add on to it.i noe u wun accept mi n i know i have no chance but even so im still holdin on even thou i know im just bluffin myself but what else can i do??i know u don accept mi doesnt means im hopeless but to mi i felt tt way but what fr u gt angry abt?? mayb saying tis sounds abit lyk a fcuker but i really donno wad i can do.rmb e day during national day?? u msg mi wad donno hu tt tym ask to jio u?? at tt moment i was only lyk u nia lo n tt moment i still haven even stand up. but since dhen i slowly started to stand up i oso donno y.dhen as days past i started to love u lo.it may sound ridiculous but to mi is nt lo.to mi it was lyk a hope u given mi tt mak mi stand agn but dhen agn u were e one tt poured cold water on mi i noe mayb ur feelings is still at a confuse state at e moment so i din blame u fr anyting.u asked mi y i love u but my ans was love someone don nid a reason n i really mean it lo.u kip sayin i lyk karen blah blah blah but i oso nth to say lo.i know u do so much ting is jus to mak everyone happy but wad fr ?? makin everyone happy n deep dwn in u, u r sad? wad fr? fake smile? tis link bak to u nt allowing mi to call myself hopeless wad u only wan mi tink tt im nt wan mi to b happy but wad fr?? wad fr makin mi happy whn u r nt?? u know tt i wun e lo. i promise tt i will b ther fr u whn u nid mi n i will e lo. i also promise to eat if u eat n i oso did lo.i also mention b4 tt i will also mak u smile e lo. i wun let u one person alone sad n e rest happy e lo. u sad i jiu sad u happy dhen i happy but mayb i tink is impossible barhs. haiz mayb tt is y i felt so hopeless.i already know e ans liaos even hw ahrd i try u heart is ther wif him e lo. rmb i asked one qn b4 marhs?? if he don wan his std dhen go std wif u. will u? i already know e ans liaos even ur 2nd blog says tt. mayb i donno u well enuf but i can tell e lo.i also know its too qiao le lo everytime u try let go he will appear e.nw his internet oso bak liaos + he n his std oso nt stable lo. mayb its sth tt i call expected tings will happen sooner or later e lo.u know is v sad to c u lyk tt marhs?? mayb if wasnt my appearance mayb such ting wun b as worst as wad it is now if i nv say i wan jio u at e 1st place mayb tings wuld b diff.but i guess time cannt rewind bak?? i felt lyk an extra stone lo.appear of no wher lyk road block lyk tt giv car bang more better lo.i know e memories u hav wif him e ting u all do tgt had tgt i cannt replace it.but i just wish to b wif u.b e one hu can giv u a new life a better life a life of happiness no sorrow.u once say u cannt giv mi e happiness or wad so eva but to mi been wif mi is e best ting u even gave to mi le, issit tt hard? mayb barhs.i know u nid more time to mak a decision but to mi i tink i already had e ans but still im holdin on. haiz.i know writting tis may mak u sound bad but tis is hw i feel but mayb tis is only half of hw i feel e rest is fr u to find out.even we remain as frends i will still nid more time dhen u jus to accept tt.n mayb i wun b able stand up or b hu i use to b anymore. haiz i really donno wad else can i do? find a new gal? no way n its impossible e lo. mayb u don hab feeling fr mi or nt even a percent but to mi e feeling towards u is real.i know u will kip tinkin y i love u but i already told u n my ans will still b e same i love u fr no reason n oni love u fr hu u r n nt wad u r.haiz.mayb im nt as hurt as u or sad as u but i can felt e same frm u lo.i even tired to cry but i kip holdin bak i noe if i cry is jus a moment tt i cannt let u go out of my mind.but its really hurting.mayb im nt good enuf mayb im less caring but wad else can i do??haiz. no point makin mi happy if i cannt b happy n i know u r nt.i know writting tis wun change a ting fr ur love fr him. coz i know im jus being a idiot writting tis.haiz nvm cannt blame.but wad to do? love is lyk tt no ones wants it to b tis way i once learn tt whn u love sum1 all u wan is to c dem b happy n smile n to b ther fr dem whn u dey nid u.i guess i have been doing tt fr quite sumtime le but im still doing it n im still holdin on.haiz hope my wish will come true sumday.

♥ 6:20 PM ♥